CQM Blog: Concepts That Build Christ-Likeness

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Relationship Help | The Effects of Peer Pressures in Today’s Society

Helping to Change the Pattern by Nancy Nair

When you are willing to do whatever it takes to get a boyfriend, are you thinking about how this can totally change your life forever? Have you already experienced this and feeling the effects of those decisions?

Starting in grade school, girls want to date at a very young age.  They find out early that most boys like them if they “put out”.  So, they have to make a big decision, “Do I want to be popular and have a boyfriend or take a chance by being single?”  Wow, what a decision they have to make because of peer pressure, even from the girls. Girls will even wear very revealing clothing to gain acceptance from both men and women, because other women will look at you as frumpy if you aren’t with the latest trends.   When you wear revealing clothes girls are asking men to look… but your boyfriend/husband better not look at other women or you get upset. Doesn’t that seem crazy?  We need to respect ourselves enough to want men to like us for who we are, not for our bodies.  

When a girl starts out her dating life in a promiscuous way, this will affect everything from that point on.  When looking around, to her it sure doesn’t look as if it is bad because the other girls who are putting out look really happy.  The boys are showing so much attention to them by holding them, holding hands, sitting with them at lunch, kissing etc, but these girls never let anyone know what is really going on inside of them.

I have heard so many times how when they are home all by themselves, they lie in bed and think about how they feel trapped. They might even put their head in the pillow and cry because they no longer feel worthy.  Some of these girls can stop living like this, when they see that they are being used by the boys, but some girls can’t. By the time they are ready to be married, they have so much baggage in their lives.  Maybe she will marry one of the boys from either high school or college that they have been sexually involved with.  He may even get her pregnant and now they have a small baby to take care for.  She is sometimes up all night with no help from him and is tired. Because of the way the world is she may have to go to work, take care of the house and dinner and the baby.  He more than likely misses the one on one attention and can be selfish by wanting sex whenever he wants.  Does he care that she is tired and can hardly function?   Not really, he is only thinking about himself and no one has ever shared with him that he must take care of her spirit.  He doesn’t even know what that is and he doesn’t even know that he too has a spirit which is needy.  What a mess this will become, he needs to help her with all those old feelings that she is thinking about and she no longer wants to have sex because she doesn’t feel loved at all anymore. 

Girls, unless you understand what you are doing and can say no, you will have trouble in your marriage because there is a deep hurt down inside you that needs to be healed and only your Dad can heal that hurt . Do they know how to do that? They can only accomplish this with God’s help.  Be truthful, do not allow the choices you make now cause regret later down the road.