CQM Blog: Concepts That Build Christ-Likeness

Tools for those in serious pursuit

Relationship Help | Eliminating the Feeling of Longing

A Letter to Whom it May Concern… by Nancy Nair

The following was written by a woman attending the Christ-Quest Institute several years ago. I believe it illustrates the longing all wives have for their husbands to know — really know — them, as Christ knows them. Do you agree?

  “My greatest desire is to be known, for someone to know me. Of course, I need this ‘someone’ to be my husband. All my life I’ve had to stand for me. No one fought for me, so I fought for me. “The grief of what is missing between my husband and me is overwhelming, yet I am left to stand alone, with Christ, again. Left to stand alone. Left to defend my soul alone, alone and lonely. “I look into the mirror, I look into my eyes, I look into my soul and I don’t know how to be seen, to be known. But just as books and information can be available, there must be someone who desires to take it in. Aside from MY GOD, there is no one who desires to take in my being, to understand my passions, my hungers, my sadness, needs. “Who desires to know me? Who, tell me, is content alone? Content to stand alone? Content to fight for themselves — for always? Does not every heart need and hunger? “People say I am nails: strong, confident. I look unneeding. But I do need. I am very hurt. How can I turn over every stone in my soul? God will you? “I desire to be known — to be a being who is true, safe, loved and who professes her God with every drop of my life. Will others see me? Will others see You, Lord? Can others see at all? (My husband just walked in and out of the room.) “He walks in, he walks out. Do the tears matter? No. Nothing matters. They are not counted by him. Would he brush my hair gently aside to look and see? Would he desire to know where I am? What I feel? How I process? “Seems, yet again, the answer when asked about my life, is no.”