CQM Blog: Concepts That Build Christ-Likeness

Tools for those in serious pursuit

Marriage | Letting the Holy Spirit Take Over in Your Marriage

Do you feel the man you married changed from being a man of God to a man who doesn’t have time for God? by Nancy Nair

Let’s say that you met your husband at Bible School, or some sort of Christian work or simple saw him as a wonderful Christian man. He seemed, at the time, to be really in God’s word so much so that others were looking to him for answers. He seemed to qualify as the man your dad and mom encouraged you to look for; making sure the man you married loved the Lord and that he lived his life representing Christ. He said he was looking for a woman who could be his partner in Christ. You both were really attracted to each other. You went to Bible study every week and study Gods word together.   

Let’s say you marry and after about a year, you realize that he has changed. He is not as involved as he was in college or in his Christian work. You realized that he isn’t the young man that you thought him to be. He is still reading his Bible but he doesn’t have the drive he had when everyone was asking him questions. Because you are married now, he has to go to work to take care of you. There seems to be no time for God and he is now showing some fleshly attitudes. As a helper, let’s say that instead of getting angry you could share with him the fleshly attitude that you see. You need to wait for him to let the Holy Spirit take over, but if he still does not change, that is where it really gets hard. Remember, God only requires that you function as your husband’s helper. Share it again and after that, if he still is fleshly, go for help. Things only get worse, never better, when you ignore it, so don’t protect him. This is where we find out, did he have a drive to be a Christian worker or was it his parents or someone else who was pushing him? Here is where I find the trouble begins, usually by the time the wife realizes what is happening they are fighting about all kinds of things. Always remember that you are very important to God and He has given you a major job for Him. Even so, when women share from their heart, men hear a wife nagging and complaining about his faults. They don’t understand that it is very difficult to be honest. Does he recognize that, he is only looking at it logically from his frame of reference? Does he see her emotional pain? Does he realize it’s easier to keep all her emotional pain bottled up in his heart? Wives pay a high price sharing with a man who doesn’t want God’s ways.