CQM Blog: Concepts That Build Christ-Likeness

Tools for those in serious pursuit

Relationship Help | Being Emotionally Functional

catsCan I Get an Amen to That by David Taylor

Because of Christ Quest Ministries’ truly Biblical, but unique perspective, in light of most marriage teachings, I am always fascinated when hearing or seeing that others are promoting some of the same ideas we promote as we seek to help people.

One such idea or concept is this whole idea of being “emotionally functional.” I think that it is safe to say that being emotionally functional; that is being able to identify with and name a multitude of emotions is not a capacity that many are familiar with. That ability especially for us as men is not widely being taught, especially in the church.

Being emotionally functional has also had feminine connotations assigned to it as well. However, it should be a lifelong pursuit and its importance should be stressed.

In our Christ Quest Institute we’ve built that kind of training into almost every lesson during our three year curriculum. Understanding our emotions is integral to building a genuine spirituality and true godliness.

I want to draw our attention to a surprising book that is being heralded in the secular market place and is addressing emotions in a very concerted and similar way to us. Its title is, “Emotional Intelligence 2.0” by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, cofounders of TalentSmart, a global think tank and consultancy that serves more than 75% of Fotune 500 companies.

The authors, through their own research along with others, give strong support to getting in touch with your emotions and actually writing them down, an exercise we as men often find challenging at best and distasteful at worse. Bradberry and Greaves give monetary incentive to the idea of growing in emotional awareness. They reveal research which indicates that improving your emotional intelligence by just one percentage point will actually increase your earning ability by $1,300 a year. Well, there it is gentlemen; finally we can make some money at this stuff. Oops, did I say that out loud.

Here is a quote from page 67 of the strategies for developing personal awareness. “The key to observing the ripple effects of your emotions is to watch closely how they impact other people immediately. And then use that information as a guide for how your emotions are bound to affect a wider circle long after you unleash the emotion. To fully understand the ripple effects of your emotions, you’ll need to spend some time reflecting upon your behavior. You’ll also need to ask other people how they are affected by your emotions.”

Here is another from page 78. “Keep a journal about your emotions. The biggest challenge to developing self-awareness is objectivity. It’s hard to develop perspective on your emotions and tendencies when everyday feels like a new mountain to climb. With a journal, you can record what events triggered strong emotions in you and how you responded to them.” How about that?