God’s mercy reaches down into the depths of our darkest moments and gives us His mighty grace. When I was 16 years old, I worked at a dry cleaning store. I watched others take money from the drawer when the customers came to pick up and pay for their clothes. I decided it looked easy and started to also steal from the store. This went on for the rest of the time that I worked there; until I was 17 ½ when I graduated and never went back to that job. It haunted me off and on for years on how easy it was for me to become involved with something that I knew was wrong. I was not a Christian yet but I did know right from wrong. I never shared it with anyone because i didn’t know what would happen to me. Having an awareness of who God was, I remember talking to Him asking Him for forgiveness, but I could never remove it from my mind. After I got married, Ken and I went to a seminar where God brought this strongly back into my heart. I felt like I needed to go back to them and share that I had taken their money. Ken and I figured out how much I probably stole from them and we went together to talk with the owner. I explained to him what I had done and that I felt like I needed to pay him back the money. I shared I didn’t know really how much I took, but that we estimated as close as we could. The owner was stunned by my coming to him. He said that he would forgive me and that he wanted to take the money and give it to the heart fund. He thanked me for being honest. He stated that he would not report me because he realized how hard it was for me to have to come and made this right. I think i will never forget that ever.
Now if I do something wrong, (not stealing though!) I quickly repent and make things right. I find I really feel close to God when I am spending time in His Word. He speaks to me as I read it. When I realize how much He loves me that He gave His Son for me, it overwhelms me. I can’t imagine giving my children up for those who would turn against me. What He has done just makes me love Him more and more. I don’t want anything to be between Him and myself.
Zechariah (by the way this is my favorite book in the Old Testament) 13:9 And I will bring the third part through the fire, refine them as silver is refined, and test them as Gold is tested. They will call on my name, and I will answer them; I will say, “They are my people; and they will say, “The Lord is my God.” Even though being refined is uncomfortable, the results are exactly what I want; to be called His people and to say that He is my Lord and my God. Lordship is a term we don’t use in our society. If He is my Lord, then I am His servant.
To make it through tough times, I go straight to the Word. I look in the concordance in my Bible under a word that relates to what i am going through and read the verses. Christian music is something that makes me happy also. I enjoy the old music much more than the new music. I love to sing out of a hymnal where you can read the names of who penned the song. I also love to know the story of the author and why they wrote the song. When I listen to the Gathers my heart does feel full of joy.
I was feeling really low just this week, and felt like i wanted to just give up. I have been going to Ken about these troubling issues and Ken put his arms around me and prayed with me. I could feel the heaviness leave me. What would I ever do without his arms that hold me tight and his soothing prayers? God sure does know what makes a woman feel recharged…a man who loves God so much that he would go to the Lord with you and ask Him to help me through those tough times.