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Relationship Help | Three Lessons A Man Should Know About His Wife

loveChrist Quest Ministries is a Christ-centered ministry located in Phoenix, Arizona,
that disciples men in

how to live with their wife in an understanding way
according to Scriptures. The following testimonial reflects a response in the
life of one man who made application of such understanding.

By Bob Goldenberg*

I have to type fast this morning; my wife is home sick and I’m kind of
in the dog house.

I do, however, want to take the time to write to the men today and
Share with you three lessons that I have learned (or I should say re-learned),
over the last few days. I find that they apply to most women.

Now notice I did not say “all” women. Women are all wonderful and
unique individuals and you cannot put them in a neatly wrapped box.
However, God said to “live with your in an understanding way;” (1 Peter 3:7) and I
do believe that it is possible to understand your wife. It just takes a lot of
concentration. Will these lessons apply to your life? I don’t know, but I’ll
bet she does. Ask her.

LESSON # 1 Wives are not ‘good-ole-boys’ and husbands should not treat them as if they were. I learned this the other day when I thought it would be fun to pull a little practical joke on my dear wife. I had climbed up on the roof of my house to apply
a little belt dressing to my squeaky swamp cooler. As I was climbing down, I thought it would be fun to scare my wife. Well, as you can guess, I got down and knocked the ladder over. As it hit the ground, I let out a yell as if I was in a lot of pain. My dear wife
came running out of the house, sure that she would find me dead on the ground.

Men! It did not turn out as planned. My wife really was scared. It caused her a lot of pain. She cried and I felt terrible for the rest of the day. Now I am quite sure that being a baseball buddy, or ‘or ‘one of the guys,’ that it would have been good for a lot of laughs. But wives don’t think that way. I hurt her and I wish I hadn’t.

LESSON # 2 Women don’t express themselves the same way that men do.
This lesson came from my daughter. She called home from school last Friday and told me that she was not feeling well. “OK,” I said, “what would you like me to do about it?”
Her response was a weak, “I don’t know.”

Well, I offered, “Should I send an ambulance? How about a helicopter to fly you to Phoenix? What do you want?”

Now I know what she wanted. She wanted me to say “I’m sorry. Are you ok? I’ll come and pick you up.” She wanted to come home from school. What I could not figure out was why she could not just say that. When I want something, I don’t have any problem just asking for it. Why couldn’t my daughter just say, “Dad, come and get me, I’m sick.”

After a minute or two of badgering her, she finally said that she did want me to come and get her and bring her home. I hung up the phone and started to leave when my dear wife said, “Sit down, we need to talk.”

A few minutes later, I understood that my daughter wanted to be taken care of. She called me because she thought she could trust me to hear her hear and know what needed to be done. She wanted me to hear her say she was sick and then to drop what I was doing and come down to take care of her. After all, I am her dad.

Men! Wives and daughters don’t always speak as directly as we do. That’s OK. That’s the way God made them. Learn to hear your wife with your heart and not just with your ears.

LESSON # 3 – Women aren’t men and we should not treat them the way we want to be treated. As I mentioned, my wife is not feeling well. She got hit with some kind of bug last Friday or Saturday. Now even though I know better, I pretty much ignored the fact that she was sick. Why? Because when I am sick I want to be left along. I don’t want any one to make a big deal about it. Just let me die in peace.

So…I left my wife alone. Wrong! My wife likes to be pampered when she is sick. She wants lots of TLC along with chicken noodle soup and 7-up. She wants me to check on her every hour or so and show lots of concern for her.

Now my problem isn’t that I didn’t care, it’s just that I made the mistake of treating my wife the same way I would want to be treated. Well, my wife is not me. Men! Learn how to say to your wife, “I love you,” in ways that she will be able to appreciate.

Well, I hope this helps. I’ve got to run. I have a sick wife at home and I need to go and make some chicken noodle soup.