CQM Blog: Concepts That Build Christ-Likeness

Tools for those in serious pursuit

Words of Encouragement | Effectively Being a Help Meet Part 1

discovery1Over the next few months we are going to go into ways to bring encouragement to your spirit by finding out more and more of how to be an effective help meet.

1 Timothy 1:12-14 is a passage in scripture where Paul, who is a brilliant man, shares how he acted in ignorance. What was he ignorant in? He wasn’t aware of the Spirit of God and thus was a blasphemer, persecutor and a violent man.

The role wives have as helper is given by God. However, it is tough to know exactly how to act in this role. Wives naturally see the relational (spiritual) problems and intuitively operate in a way to bring resolution. When they see a problem; they see a spiritual issue but give a mechanical solution. Then the husband seeks out to mechanically bring resolution. However, the true issue is an issue of a spiritual/relational matter. How do we women do this then?

Don’t give mechanical solutions. You will end up talking in circles. Learn how to talk spirit to spirit. If you enter into the world of bringing solutions, you end up being the spiritual leader. We try to compensate as a way of filling the void we see in the relationship/s.
How do you talk spirit to spirit? Reveal the character issue. Do you see pride? Do you see selfishness? Share your heart and how he is making you feel. What emotions are you feeling? If we begin to give solutions, we begin to manage. You say, “If I do not tell him what he needs to do, then things will fall apart!” What if God wants things to fall apart? God is great at giving men clues. So often, we get in the way. God wants to bring change about in the heart of men.

It may take a while for him to realize you are not going to manage things anymore. But, are you willing for things to fall apart so God can reprove him? We want him to pick up the gauntlet and take the quest as his own. The goal is that the husband and wife will seek God’s ways together. When his heart is humbled and he truly has a quest that is his own, a husband and wife can seek solutions together by speaking spirit to spirit.